A little while ago, my siblings and I came up with this blog post about a soccer team of fictional characters. Who all happened to be heroic characters. My sister suggested that I create an opposing team for them, so credit for the idea for this post goes to Anna. Here we go - time to create a team of villains from the same books as the heroes!
Goalie - Facing Rubeus Hagrid (Harry Potter, J. K. Rowling), will be... hmm.... this is tricky since there are so many villains in a seven-book series. How about... Lucius Malfoy? I think he'd like a position in which he doesn't have to do much. That way, he can tell all the other players what they're doing wrong, how they should be doing something else, what exactly they should be doing, and how they should do it.
Center defense - Facing Artham Wingfeather (Wingfeather Saga, Andrew Peterson), will be Commander Gnorm. That is one nasty Fang, and Artham will be the perfect defender to conquer him.
Right defense - Facing Lucy Pevensie (Chronicles of Narnia, C. S. Lewis), will be the White Witch. Her wand will be confiscated, naturally, because you're not allowed magical wands that turn your opponents into stone in a soccer game. And without the wand Lucy will be able to deal with her with no problem, I'm pretty sure. It's all about running and taking control of the ball and no magic allowed.
Left defense - Facing Ella of Frell (Ella Enchanted, Gail Carson Levine), will be hmm... there aren't a lot of blatantly evil characters. Let's say one of the ogres, NisSh. (Or however that is spelled.) This guy's pretty smart for an ogre.
Right midfield - Facing Westley (Princess Bride, S. Morgenstern), will be Count Rugen. I know, I know, he's Inigo Montoya's personal enemy, but he's still a villain and he seems like the type to want a
Center midfield - Facing Legolas Greenleaf (Lord of the Rings, J. R. R. Tolkien), will be... I want to say Saruman, but no, Saruman wouldn't do too well chasing all over a soccer field, would he? I think one of the Uruk-hai would be better. How about Ugluk? Unpleasant, big, strong, ugly... yeah, this team of villains would probably want him at their center.
Left midfield - Facing Kaladin (Stormlight Archive, Brandon Sanderson), will be Brightlord Amaram, naturally. Neither of them will be able to wait for the opportunity to beat each other to pieces in a soccer game. At least, Kaladin won't be able to wait. And Amaram can't have his Shardblade or Plate.
Right forward/offense - Facing Kate Wetherall (Mysterious Benedict Society, Trenton Stewart), will be Martina Crowe, who dislikes Kate and is pretty athletic. I think they'd love to take each other on in soccer.
Center forward/offense - Facing Arya Drottningu (Inheritance Cycle, Christopher Paolini), will be... Oh! Let's put her against Durza the Shade. He doesn't get to use magic though, and neither does she. That would be cheating.
Left forward/offense - Facing Jason Grace (Heroes of Olympus, Rick Riordan), will be... hmm... there are a lot of villains in these books. How about, let's say, Ephialtes the style-conscious giant. Sure, they fought in the book with swords and such, but I think it'd be fun to see them play soccer.
This is a game I wouldn't miss. The heroes would probably win, because they usually do, but the villains would put up a decent fight, as always. We've got quite a range of villains, too...
Who do you think would win? Who would you recommend for this team?
This is awesome! I don't know much about soccer but I'd watch this team play every time. You mentioned some of my favorites! Harry Potter, The Princess Bride, a couple others but I was most excited to see Kate Weatherall. I wanted to be here when I was younger!! I even made a bucket. Its rare to see TMBS referenced, it made me happy. Thanks for your comments on my blog! I'm excited to F I N A L L Y read yours! - Suzannah
ReplyDeleteYay, I'm so excited you're here!! :)))
DeleteOh yes, Mysterious Benedict Society is really good! More people need to know about that series. :D